Bike maintenance when you know nothing about bikes
Nobody teaches you this. At some point the chain starts sounding like a biscuit tin, and Etapa walks you through the handful of jobs that actually matter, in order, with the tools you already own.
Bike maintenance has a reputation it does not deserve. There are exactly two routine jobs — check it is safe before you ride, and clean it every couple of weeks — and both are done with a pump, a rag and the multi-tool that came in the box. Everything else is either rare or a job for a shop. The problem has never been that it is hard; it is that nobody shows you the order, so you end up either ignoring the bike entirely or watching forty minutes of video from someone with a workshop.
The two jobs that matter
- The five-minute safety checkSometimes called an M-check, because you work around the bike in an M shape. Seven points: front wheel and tyre pressure, front brake, headset and fork, bottom bracket and pedals, saddle and seatpost, bars, stem and controls, then the rear wheel, brake and drivetrain. Etapa walks you through each one and tells you what “wrong” feels like.
- A proper clean, every couple of weeksSeven steps: pre-rinse, degrease the drivetrain, soap the frame, detail the fiddly bits, rinse, dry it properly, lube the chain. The last two are the ones everyone skips and they are the ones that stop it rusting.
- Then just log itWhen the bike goes in for a service, log it. Etapa keeps the history and tells you when the next one is roughly due, so you are not guessing whether it has been eight months or two years.
A pump with a gauge and a multi-tool. That is the honest list. A clean rag, some degreaser and chain lube cover the wash. If your bike has carbon bits, a mini torque wrench is worth twenty pounds so you do not crush a seatpost. Nothing else on the internet’s tool list is necessary until you are doing jobs a shop should probably do.
When something goes wrong mid-ride
There is a separate chat for exactly this. Describe the noise, the feel or what stopped working, and your companion walks you through finding it and fixing it where you are, on the roadside, with what is in your saddle bag. It is aimed at the things that actually strand people — a puncture, a dropped chain, a brake rubbing, a gear that will not shift — rather than a full diagnostic tree.
Locking, travelling, insuring
The parts of owning a bike that nobody covers. How to lock it so it stays yours, with kit picks at three price points. How to pack it into a box for a flight or a train without arriving to a bent derailleur. What a policy actually covers and which specialists are worth a quote in the UK and Europe.
When to use a shop
Plenty of the time, and that is fine. Etapa tells you how often a bike really needs a shop visit, what each kind of service tends to cost, and how to tell a good local mechanic from a till with a workstand behind it. Knowing what you are buying is most of the value; you do not have to do it yourself to stop being ripped off.
The five-minute safety check
Seven points around the bike before you ride, each one explained: what to press, what to spin, and what a problem feels like.
A wash that does not rust it
Seven steps from pre-rinse to lubing the chain, including the drying step everyone skips and then regrets in February.
Something’s wrong right now
A roadside chat that helps you work out what the noise is and fix it where you are, with what is in your saddle bag.
A service history that remembers
Log a service and Etapa tracks when the next one is due, so the answer to “when did it last go in?” is not a shrug.
Locking, travel and insurance
How to lock it so it stays yours, how to pack it for a flight, and what a policy actually covers.
How to find a good mechanic
What each service costs, how often you need one, and what separates a good local shop from a bad one.
How often should I clean my bike?
Every couple of weeks if you are riding regularly, and always after a wet or salty ride. The full wash is seven steps and takes about half an hour. The bit that actually matters is drying it properly and re-lubing the chain afterwards — a clean chain left wet is worse off than a dirty one.
What is an M-check?
A five-minute once-over before you ride, so called because you work around the bike in the shape of an M: up the front wheel, down to the bottom bracket, up to the saddle, back down to the rear wheel. Seven points in total — wheels and tyre pressure, both brakes, headset, bottom bracket and pedals, saddle, bars and controls, and the drivetrain. Etapa walks you through each one and tells you what you are feeling for.
What tools do I actually need?
A pump with a gauge and a multi-tool will cover almost everything routine. Add a rag, degreaser and chain lube for the wash. A mini torque wrench is worth having if any part of your bike is carbon, because overtightening a carbon seatpost is an expensive noise. Everything beyond that can wait until you need it.
What if something breaks in the middle of a ride?
Open the roadside chat and describe what happened — the noise, what stopped working, what it feels like. Your companion helps you find it and talks you through the fix on the spot, working from what you are likely to be carrying. If it is genuinely not fixable by the road, it tells you that too, which is its own kind of useful.
Do I still need a bike shop?
Yes, for the jobs that need a stand, a bearing press and someone who has done it a hundred times. Etapa is clear about which those are. What it changes is that you walk in knowing roughly what needs doing and what it should cost.
Stop wondering what that noise is
Download Etapa, run the five-minute check before your next ride, and ask about anything that sounds wrong. Free to download, with a week’s free trial on every subscription.
Free to download. 7-day free trial on every plan.